?Â¿? DaR3 To DrEaM Â¿?Â¿

Monday, January 17, 2005
1/17/2005 02:55:00 AM

its almost a month manz...27th day in Canada le...one down five more to go..hehez..no kick lar...just when i started enjoying my stay in Canada..things going to go fast..and in no time.."byebye Canada..helo Singapore"...but i guess i'll miss pple here too...wonder whether my dream of drums will be coming back to Toronto for pursuing..i hope so...the country is so nice..pple are nice,pple are friendly...but if they are trouble makers..they are really TROUBLEMAKERS...its like almost everyday in a public sch,there is a fight...but heng i'm on the side of Toronto that peace is better...pple are like telling me "the other side of this place..thats where trouble lurks and the bad side...missisauga is relatively peaceful"...i'm glad..:)

i guess yesterday was one of mood swings since quite a long time...it wasnt a mood swing of anger or sadness..but be cos of confusion...even b4 service today..i was reluctant to socialise with others..that happens when i'm moody...but after the service..i socialise like crazy....cos i found my answer to the question of "distinguishing between truth and deception"...not really an answer from God of my prayers...but sometimes answers dun come directly from God..they come from pple around u..and influences that give u thought that make u gd "aha..it was there all along"..or "aha...i get it now"....

just like today....i felt i wrote my nickname on msn without thinking much abt the meaning...even though i know its meaning..but it was right there..my answer was right there "I am the way,the truth and the light..we live by faith and not by sight for You" God said in the bible...He is the truth..the word is...by following Him,i'll know whats the truth...but i think thats not the confusion..but what the speaker said today was totally an answer to me..i prayed so much the past two days...couldnt sleep...thinking and thinking...i'm not one that is satisfied with "i'll follow the crowd..." or "maybe if i grow older i'll know"...i'm one that wants an answer or else i am not satisfied...

thats y i usually go to teachers after class and ask them abt it...or pastors abt their message....i dun like being caught in the middle in two answers and just dismiss it as too complicated...i dun like being left in suspense..my curiosity abt things are too strong..thats y ever since young i've been asking so many questions..pple get irritated...but i'm glad that pple in the bible and philosophers do that alot too...it shows me that its not so bad to ask questions....hehez..i learnt that in philosohpy class..

oh ya...i think i'll be choosing Jesus as my philosophy project philosopher..."man without violence,lover of peace,great thinker,has impressive thoughts,not a political person,not a military person"...i think He meets all the standards..hehez..but heard its a very big topic abt it..but heng only need to do brief research abt Him..or else its neverending..and so many philosophies that even pple now dun understand fully...

today after service.guess what...the youth were like recruiting me...they wanna form a christian band..so cool...maybe an informal one...but so what?..i've always wanted to just play christian music for fun..and just worship at the same time...i believe its better than practising drums with "world" music...thats y i always admire pple that can play in christian sec schs...so cool loh...or else like in my sch in Evergreen..pple will go like "u know this rock/metal band..u go and hear...then play for us on talentime/teacher's day can?"...if i really get to play in a christian band..i wont be willing to play for "world" music anymore manz..cos i only play "world" music cos i wanna practise my drum skills..but what for when christian music can be contemporary/rock and a new thing i heard "punk christian music"...lol..maybe new age?

i think it will be a few days more b4 i can play bball and train gym properly again..cos my knuckles are feeling much better le..or else the rate i'm eating..sure fat de loh...maybe some of u will say "fat gd ma..u so skinny"...but nayz,i rather stay skinny and fit...cos being fat and fit,its harder to cope...cos once u stop training physical for awhile..everything turns to fat..hehez...and flexibility,agility and speed is what i want...not toughness or animal strength...

and abt the drum courses...heard i've got alot of them...not only one that i sign up outside....but Fiona's sister is like telling me her sch got someone very skilled and professional that will be willing to teach me too..i'll see whether it can fit into my schedule..cos i want outside training mainly cos of theory understanding....and my sch...miss white..remember?..the one i said was cute de lar...definition is not adorable or pretty...but i dunno how to say it..i know what my definition of pretty is..but my definition of cute..hahaz...not able to describe it yet...ya..she is trying to get a professional trainer to come and teach in my sch too...so its like triple benefits..so cool...Thank God manz...but what if all also the same professional trainer...lol..kidding lar...

clearly, i'm back to the C|iFf i used to be...so dun worry...this blog wont have such pessimistic entries like yesterday again...i hope not...but i guess it helped alot just talking out all my thoughts here...its helping alot..or keeping them to myself is not gd...esp when i'm in Canada where no one to talk to abt everyday..or else in singapore..marcus will be the one suffering..hearing abt my day and everything...lol

i wonder whether there's homework yet to be done...cos i'm not used to writing down what homework i have..i better get into the habit soon...cos in spore,i dun do homework..unless i have to stay back to do if i dont...or if the teacher will give detention or something...but even if so,i'll copy...thats the truthh..=X

but since the hmwk here all also counted in ur final mark...i rather just be consistent..imagine ur homework also got marks de...of course u take it seriously lar...but also in spore,i wont care lar..but here,pressure of 9000++ dollars "wasted" on my studies is still on...so i cant possibly just doze off in class and dun do homework...

i miss playing bball in singapore...sweating like no one's business...with all my friends there..having cooperation..losing or winning together in team spirit..the feeling is so nice..pple here that play bball and are gd are so stubborn and in a sense arrogant..i tell them a strategy..they will be like "just play...dun need strategy one..can shoot then just shoot"...its so "one man team" loh..i dun like it...esp when pple play solo when u are open for passing...stupid loh...so what if they can shoot 10 balls and all go in..but bball is all abt teamwork..abt passing or shooting when the chance is the best and no other better choices are present...even the NBA training guide says that...

i'm so proud of myself for getting so far that pple know my name totally in church(when sometimes i dun even know their's)...then in sch..have friends that are more than someone that has been in the sch for six mths....i just cant believe i made it thru a mth here with so much fun and "adventures"(new experiences)....grown so much abt decision making and now i even feel that i've adapted to the lifestyle here..that in the beginning..thought i would never adapt to...and thought it would be very very hard to start anew here..in a foreign country..

i'm playing guitar for "movie night" on friday..i told u.. fellowship is one week activity,one week bible study...and i'm planning to volunteer to lead one of the activity with raymond in april...i wanna participate more in the church stuff..i wanna serve more...i wanna serve everywhere i go...i sound so childish right?...come here to study..then still planning out such a hard schedule..i'll regret doing so when i cant cope with my studies..but who cares?..thats just me...step by step...got obstacle,then battle along the way..if God can bring me to a obstacle,i believe He will bring me thru it ;)

k..i'll pen off here...or else it will be totally too long...its long enough already..take care singapore...u will always be in my prayers..:)

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