?Â¿? DaR3 To DrEaM Â¿?Â¿

Friday, June 24, 2005
6/24/2005 10:47:00 AM

yoz everyone..i'm back for another entry..maybe one of the the last entries i'm gonna make until i come to Canada after army...its like only two weeks and a few days away from my departure from Canada and guess what?..Arrival to Singapore...

still can remember the time that i just started writing this blog..aww...its gonna be so sad...cos once i get back to my lifestyle in singapore...i highly doubt this blog will be more than just a memory and a site to visit next time...but at least..i get to reflect back on how my life in Canada is...hehez...

from the time i just started my life in Canada...to a life that is well-established with almost everyone in sch knowing me...other than those that dun try to socialise much or reply bluntly and like just one sentence when i talk to them...knowing so many places...its such an adventure for me to be able to come here and experience how lonely and "unused to" a new place can make u feel..have to really adapt..but considering how i learnt to grow up and really be more mature in responsibilities and everything...not considering the part of me that kept on complaining abt the cold and being a total spendthrift here...asking my mum constantly for more money to be passed over from her bank to mine..lol

from wanting to punch someone for pushing me just because his soccer skills are lousy and got the ball snatched away multiple times from me...a total brute..but knowing him now..with forgiveness on the two sides...it became much better...found out he is a christian and it is natural for koreans to act aggressive in sports...its good especially seeing him in the soccer team playing against other high sch posers...lol..that pleased me alot...cos i hate posers...

one live update..two weeeks ago...i guess i did something very very bad..but nayz..an action done for my mum...and the scolding done for all chinese pple!....

there's this guy that got on my nerve...i was playing bball..then my vietnamese friend threw a ball at this black canadian poser that always holds a skateboard with him...cant believe he can say singapore doesnt sell skateboards..for ur information,singapore is like one of the most developed countries in the world..idiot...CAnada cant even make it...handphones are like so slow in developing here..so lousy...ok..thats besides the point...

then my friend was like just playing with that guy..it was just for fun..then that guy dunno for what stupid reason threw the ball to the back of the stage...and not wanting to take it back...then my vietnamese friend just diao that guy then told me "Cliff...i'm not getting that ball manz"..then he walked out of the room...leaving me with that poser and his friend..another poser but white...then i went up to that black guy and told him in the face "come on manz...get the ball...u threw it..so u get it..dun expect me to do it"..then he was like "Cliff,i'm gonna call ur mother"....then i waas like "oh..whatever...if u even know the country code of singapore idiot"...the he laughed about something with that white..then said "yeah..ask ur chinese pussy mother to come and punish me"...(sorry for the vulgarities/inappropriate language)...then i already turned my back on him b4 i heard that sentence then with my head turning back only i said "i beg ur pardon?...dun make me beat u up asshole"...he came over and pushed me...if i wanted to..i wouldnt even allowed him to do so..but i just controlled..then he said "i would love to see u beat me up"..wait..thats the sentence he might have said...but i didnt allow him to even finish it...with the words "i would love to..."..one fist was already across his cheek...

i remembered not to aim at the cheekbone,or it might crack(advisory from thai boxing teacher)...but still...i didnt know what happen to him until like days after when pple came up to me and said "do u know u actually broke two of his teeth and his fake teeth on the front?"...then i was like "u kidding?..i didnt even aim for the front.." with a giggle..not sadistic..but just thinking of him actually having a fake teeth..makes him look very funny..especially when he was like holding all the teeth in him after i hit him...he closed his moouth and had the "i cant believe u did that manz.." look...and maybe thoughts of "u broke my fake teeth!" and "are those my permanent teeth?" and "oh no..i have to make more fake teeth" went thru his head...then shouted in his face "dun call my mum a chinese pussy i tell u..thats what u get"...and turned to the white guy and said "that goes for u too"...cos i knew he whispered something too..

my knuckle actually had a slight cut on it after the thingy...maybe cos its the first time after i learnt self defence that i used them...i knew somehow somewhere i would need those self defence - thaiboxing(singapore uncle),Karate(church friend taught abit),tkd(singapore friends teach) in CAnada...just knew that i'm not gonna use them for no reason at all..thats why i didnt much retaliate to that guy last time while soccer...it didnt have any reason...and i dun wanna regret my actions...this time i didnt..

b4 u guys start thinking "Cliff like that one ar?...so violent and every thing negative"...i didnt like doing it at all...without the reason of missing home,having dreams of wanting my parents back and wanting my home food...missing my parents so much...i wouldnt have done it so brutally and without even resisting the strength put in it...i dun use violence for no use at all...unless attacked or some very "valid" personal reason...

thinking abt it..i have no regrets abt it at all...like i said..."for my mum,and for all chinese"...i just felt a need of having to stand up to it...i know it wasnt the best choice of doing things..my bro would tell me that...but i just couldnt hold it the anger i had in me that he is insulting my mum....even though i seem to be like very heck care to her most of the time..i really love her alot...i'm not even 1/100 of what i am now if it was not for her...not forgetting my dad..hehez..

so,when after school..pple were coming to find me to deal with it..he just gathered pple...but were those pple that seemed to like dun really care much abt it..but just like giving him moral support...posers loh...other than this taiwanese gangster...that i was not afraid of then...not even now...because my mindset was like 'even if i die..i dun care...it was for my mum...and i want to do it that way"...my missing of family is just too strong..and it was like on one of the days that i just had all those "family" and "family food" dreams that he came on my nerve...he deserved it..and he cant tell no authorities abt it...its racism...

posers suck...they just act as if they want to beat me up..go around telling pple they finding me..but once i come down from my room...i see them..they dun even do any damn thing abt it...i dun understand manz..i'm like as if "here i am..what now?"...and they just go as if like "nothing"...dun understand at all...wanna be real skaters..be them...do what u wanna do...dun just act big and everything..

one week down the road...i heard the taiwanese guy going down during gym class and hitting one of the posers on the head twice with a metal bat..i guess one of his "weapons"...end up there's fights in their own grp..then this taiwanese is called back to taiwan because of the offence...

they came to my class outside area finding me...but more like "hey...thats the guy that broke three of ur teeth?"...lol

okay..enough abt this situation...

my exams are finally over!...no more studies for me for two years ++ manz...but army dayz..lol...cant wait...new experience...can just see life events moulding me into the person i'll be in the future..and so far,looking back on how irresponsible,innocent and naive i was in pri sch...big progress manz...

this semester..i can say that results are not as good as i wanted..because of algebra last semester..wanted to get all 90s this semester for my courses..but end up more like all 80s...

gonna get like high 80s for math data(basically creative maths)...and low 80s for human patterns(geography)...but for english only get 70s when i expected 80s...but its very good compared to other subjects as my class teacher is very strict on marking..so getting high 70s is very good...especially when getting 75 and above in a private sch is very good....they say its much harder in private sch..so universities will understand...i hope so...just had too high expectations for everything...i believe i'm at least top 5 in class...but not good enough...considering the effort i put in..i wanted at least like top 2-3...haiz..nvm...*pats myself on the shoulder* or is it back?..nonono..back is for choking right?..lol..

anyways,been striving very hard since mid term...cos all were like 70s...its like acceptable to get 70s in singapore...but in a school where u paid 10000 to come in for the courses...its crazy to just get there..to say there is no stress is one thing...no pressure is another thing manz..

anyways,i'll be back in like two weeks...gonna have a lovely holiday plan and play like siao b4 i come for round two in singapore..if there are even pple there to entertain me during their sch period and everything..i believe my poly friends will..but abt the rest of u...i really do hope can make time for me...or else..its okay...i'll stick to my mum...-_-"

cya guys..take care...Love SingaPore Forever..lol..gonna spend gd holidays with Clara...then come back to singapore and go thru the obstacles of meet the parents with her...God bless me...pray for my safety home ya..lol...*fingers off* now

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