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Wednesday, May 17, 2006
5/17/2006 11:08:00 AM

yoz everyone...hahaz...must be wondering how i got the time in SINGAPORE to do this stupid blogging again...already long ago wanted to...but being in army..book out period is very crucial...using it for blogging..is not very worth it...

but guess what...i'm injured...have been on medical leave for one week...yesterday saw a specialist abt the situation..and that extended another week of me being on medical leave..sianz..

okay..this is how it started off...in case some of you and pondering "what injury?..u had an injury?"...yeah..i have one...very complex one in fact..

about five weeks ago...woke up on my SISPEC(school of infantry specialist) bunk bed one morning...feeling a hurt in my tailbone area...as the usual me...thought to myself "aiya..it will go away...little pain wont kill me...i'm strong"...=X

little did i know...one week later...it worsen...had the pain striking me constantly until i had to do the cowardly action of "reporting sick"...which to me is pathetic unless i just wanna take a rest from some stuid exercise..

saw the medical officer..he said nothing major..just take one day of rest..and went back to training..in my mind,i was like "what the heck..u dun believe it hurts?..and still want me to waste one day of my training to rest..knowing one day wont help anything"...anyways..nvm..maybe its really nothing..gave me painkillers..whatever...went back to training not caring abt the painkillers..i dun feel excruciating pain..what do i need them for?..i'm just wondering how a completely perfectly fit guy like myself can suddenly sustain an injury i dun even know how i got...

one week later..pain came again..went to medical centre a few times..no use manz..always giving me one day of excuse from training..how's that gonna help..other than my friends thinking i'm running away from training..

on the later part of the second week...medical officer gave me an appointment to go to CMPB(Central manpower base) for x-ray..it was perfectly normal..so i still had no evidence of pain...went back to training...didnt give a care anymore..since they dun trust i'm not okay..fine..then i'm okay...

train for two weeks more...past week felt intense pain..had this outfield exercise at tekong...was gonna be quite xiong i heard..told my mum abt it..she said better not go or else worsen the situation..but come on manz...my leadership course is 10 weeks..already the 8th week le..how can i drop out on a crucial event like this..i dun wanna recourse..went for the event stubbornly..convincing my mum i'll be alright...

okay...so during the event..i felt pain....didnt care...felt pain again..didnt care...okay...so i shouldnt have been so act tough..so later when pain came again i couldnt take it..went to report sick..officer told me that this exercise will assess my leadership skills on what the whole course has taught me..quite crucial if i miss my turn to be assessed..found out that night exercise was me being the leader and being assessed...so i just told my officer i cant take it...will endure pass the night..thinking "aiya..one more day only ma..i already tahan 4 weeks le..at most tml then report sick again loh...AFTER my ASSESMENT"...

being the "Act hero" guy again..the next day came...ASsessment over..i thought hey...the pain not so bad..continued with training..then came back worse than ever...went to report sick..was evacuated to the medical centre over at tekong..went in with all the recruits staring at me...with my CAMo(the cream that army men wear on the face for camouflaging in jungles) on..i looked as if i was going to war..ya...at the medical centre...-_-"

medic told me "go wash it off..or else u will scare the medical officer"...so i did...saw the medical officer...gave me one week of excuse from training..at least this time this officer believed my injury..

the next day was bookout..come out le..went to see doctor..was referred to Mount elizabeth hospital to see a specialist..yesterday was the appointment..it went okay...other than him stretching my body so much that it hurt very badly...took another x ray...damn funny..

the x ray was out then the doctor was like "Whoa..u have very healthy bones and very perfect ones...beautiful.." as if he looking at some girl body like that...what the heck..cant imagine a doctor can be obsessed about whats inside my body..i mean after the skin...lol...and guess what..the xray is my butt area and tailbone area..

just suddenly his admiration of my body changed to an expression on his face..i'm quite worried about..he was like "everything's okay...except for here"...pointing near my butt bone(or whatever u call it)...there was something extra there..like an extra bone sticking out from it..he told me it was abnormal...first case he saw like that...but he said shouldnt be a problem...ask me to take medication for one week..see whether still pain...if still pain..then he will investigate further abt that abnormality..

what worries me is that he told me he doesnt know what is it...to me,if i dunno whats the problem...thats okay..anyways i'm not medically trained to know whats the problem with me...but the doctor seemed to be just keep on guessing on what my problem is..and the bone jutting out..seemed quite ridiculous...the way he ignored it..made me worry more..

yeah..i'm special..and i'm unique in my own way...but being unique in bone structure...doesnt seem quite gd to me...just hope for the best..that everythin's alright..

anyways,guess some of u r more interested in knowing how's army for me..hahaz...one word and one phrase "Sucks" and "a whole waste of time"...leadership training aint easy..cant believe i chose it too...but i'm just the type of guy that wants to be the best if possible in every field i guess...

if u guys knew my want of going to army...u would think its ridiculous....i had so many ways out for myself to not serve at all..but i just convinced my mum to let me do it...something i regret like crazy now...but nvm lar...lan lan,already inside liao...like they say...

i went in with a mindset of wanting to be a commando...actually i still want to...physically i believe i can be trained up into one..but mentally i think i might go crazy...lol...

okay...so i was on PEs condition B due to all the medical status i had b4...so cant be commando...was aiming for officer course...which again was not given..due to some reason only God knows...sent for NCO leadership instead...i guess God knew whats best..officer training of 9mths just aint worth it for the rank...so long being a trainee...gives u not much freedom of anything...schedules u just follow...routines and strictness u have to undergo...nayz...seeing the examples of officers in the circle of pple i know...i rather not be one...i'm not a stuck up,egoistic fellow that thirsts for power to order pple around...pride in singapore army just aint worth it..

the only thing i worry because of my injury now is having to recourse..i've come to the last week of my course..and i get on medical leave..i wonder whether i still graduate with them...going through the 8 weeks of shit aint easy..most of the days getting less than 5 hours of sleep...2-3 hours is the average...4-5 hours is a gift...i dun wanna recourse and go over all the same rubbish again...especially i was unlucky enough to get the most xiong company there is...with an officer commander that is mentally unstable...dun talk abt it manz..

been slacking for like two days...still got about one week to go..i wonder what to do with this time...just do everything i had no time to do during my course period ba..like watching tv and checking email..

lovelife for me...is something super complicated now...i'm not sure whether she's really the one for me..cos the only thing i've been dreaming about is my ex lately...almost like 4-5 days in a role...not counting the countless dreams i already had with her since we broke up...dun really know what i want...just cant wait for NS to be over...run away to CAnada..start anew..and then explore what i really want in life..

musical life for me...its dying...with my vocalist being obsessed with being a singapore idol..and the band itself being just me and him...i'm not really sure how i'm going to go about pursuing such wild dreams..but like my blog's title...if i dare to dream..i'll make it happen..somehow..it doesnt have to be big..it just has to be satisfying...

i guess i'll just stop here...for those that happen to stop by and read my blog..thanks manz...its been long since it extinct...about a year ago...i think i've lost my thing for writing too..gotta get it going again i guess...pls shout in my box what u guys want me to write about...been lost in action in many pple's life..i guess its time i can give u guys an opportunity to catch up with whats going on in my life...thats if ur interested that is..

okay..pen off...

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