?Â¿? DaR3 To DrEaM Â¿?Â¿

Saturday, May 20, 2006
5/20/2006 12:50:00 PM

yoz...back to blogging...almost forgot abt this blog..lol..not used to it i guess...never been a habit or lifestyle of mine in Singapore to do so...but what can i do..cant go out much due to my injury i stated in my previous entry...but have so much time...

just slacking now...hung out with my guy friends yesterday...cant believe how four guys can just sit down and chat abt anything under the sun for like 5-6 hours...felt as if we like very old pple...talking abt our past...but truly..we were talking abt our sec sch life...how girls bothered us...the worse of them...how we dealed with pple who call themselves "gangsters",but this word doesnt exist in modern singapore life manz...tell any ex member of the past,they will just laugh their ass out abt gangsters nowadays in singapore...not in singapore manz...and even talked abt the advantages and disadvantages of being single or being attached...among us,Li qiang,guixiang,kenneth(dun say i never mention ur names in my blog=P) and myself..i guess the only one's that's attached and happy is Li qiang...i just dumped a girl a few days ago...cant stand committing i guess...plus she takes away my personal freedom and she's too possessive...if she knows my interest,music is more important than anything in my life...second to only God...and much more important than any of my gfs too...restricts my musical freedom and says am i too bored when i watch music dvds or play guitar...thats obviously getting herself on my nerves to the core manz...maybe i'm just not suited to being attached...but single4life?..maybez..lol..

nvm...but true...girls can get annoying to some extent sometimes...as an MCP..i declare even the cutest of girls can be annoying...but maybe thats because i dun know enough cute girls..lol...whatever..to me..more girls,more trouble...

okay...this time of break from army has been very slack...ate like crazy yesterday...went with Yunhua mei to eat pizza hut for lunch...the usual me was just so kiesu..wanted not to eat the normal personal meal..but the group serving meal that can feed like 4-5 pple..lol...okay,she was scared of taking on the challenge..so just pulled one of our friends we knew was in causeway point to eat with us..aww..SAm,ur such an unlucky fellow..muscles turn into fat le..can do with more fats right..thats okay...

okay..so we ate like alot...especially me...lol...to the brink of them confessing they have had enough food for the day...but nayz,i'm not done...i still had dinner and supper with the guys later..lol..okay...very dangerous...in my injury condition cant work on my stomach...so i'm really afraid..i guess i'll try to stick to my normal controlled appetite after yesterday...

been thinking of this blog's title "DAre to dream"...okay..so what if i dare to dream...i need a start a jumpstart to my dreams...ever since coming back to singapore...haven found a suitable band at all...either smokers,metal-lovers,double paddles-needers or just no chemistry when playing music with them...okay i've found my band..."the offbeats" we call it?...yeah...very offbeat with the tempo we are creating to make ourselves known...guess he's just too obsessed with being the next singapore idol...lets see what happens...wish him all the best manz...anyways,our band is just too small anyway...just consisting of me and him aint enough...maybe talents are present..but the bones of the band just aint there..with his guitar skills being not gd enough...he should just focus on his vocals..

i wish i wasnt a slave to music..but cant help it...i love music just too much...so sad that i chose leadership for army...or i would be in one of the combo bands in the music sector by now...the stupid choice of mine and the thinking of their's of "leadership takes priority over all"...whatever...

never do ur best in army...unless u want to sign on or somehow gain some "pride" in there...i've learnt my lesson...doing well for SOC(SAF standard obstacle course) and IPPT(individual physical test..whatever the other P stands for) showed me that i have to carry this..okay..to others its heavy...but to me...its just irritating..a bazooka for anti-tank...i dun understand...the real thing is 10+kg...i'm just holding the dummy one lar...but if i'm holding the real thing..i think i'll just fire it at some dumb tree and throw it away...anyways,it can only be used once..

sometimes,i dunno whether i'm too young for NS...i can handle everything..but mentally..truly sometimes i cant take the depression...okay..it might just be normal for NSmen to feel that way...anyone actually..to be imprisoned practically...but to me,its crazy..if anyone understands CLiff...freedom's the most important thing in life...even my mum knows she cant control me...but i know my limits ya?..dun think i'm some defiant dude..

now..given like one and a half week break..and like only 3 days left...i dun even know what i did for the past week..just wasted my time and money with a girl i ended up dumping...did some music catching up with MTVs and a few music DVDs like green day's "bullet in a bible" and RAdiohead's old old "the astoria london live"...that was cool...renewed my dreams of wanting to perform and share the music of myself with the world..

its been long since i've jammed with pple on the drums or guitar...okay..not very long...but the past few times just werent enough..i couldnt get enough of it...just see me weekly playing the drums and guitar at church by myself..the only time that i can catch up with my instruments..this week..okay...truly,i'm kinda bored of the guitar...but i think i'll learn some songs today...just to not lose my touch on it...

"falling into memories of you,things we used to do" yellowcard's One year six mths tune...and that was the period i just had to wait b4 being with her again..but no...i couldnt take it...stupid i guess..okay..not memories...dreams actually...been dreaming of her for the past few days...continuously...i cant stand it...her friendster already states "in a relationship"...why cant i just get over her...its been like so long...to me at least...coming to one year if two more mths go by...okay...as an MCP,i cant believe she got over me and is dating someone else after only 6mths...lol...CLiff..what a joke...who do u think u r?..look at urself in the mirror..peanut head..i guess if i want a relationship now..other than those pathetic few girls left that still like me after a long long time...i have to beg someone to take me off the shelf manz...

that relationship trial i had with the past girl showed me something...i really pity the girls that end up with me...especially now...i've lost all the touch with being a gd bf...can even tell her "i think i wanna save MRT money...u go home by urself k?...anyways,ur too scary and fierce for anyone to try to even get near or even touch"...what kind of gentlemanly spirit is that..i was just plain lazy..i dunno..maybe she was just not the girl i wanted...so didnt find a need to treat her like how i usually treat my gfs..i really pity her..so to end her dreadful lovelife...broke with her loh...wasnt exactly very happy at all being with her anyway...

gotta reconsider what type of girl i really want b4 i hurt another soul i guess...i know definitely that height requirement is 164,165 and above..i'm not the type like my cousins marcus and tommy that go for young and short,petite girls...just aint my type...i'm 176 ++(thats if i grew this year)...how can i go out with a girl thats only 160...really pathetically short...and never have the hots for girls that r too short...unless by accident i fell in love with one like that i guess..

okay..enough abt lovelife..aint getting anywhere...i just cant get over her..so i cant go on until i do...or else i'll just be a ridiculous lover to the next...

anyways,see this blog...its yellowcard...they're cool..i guess thats what every band needs...a special thing abt themselves...catchy tunes...gd lyrics..a CD theme...and a special thing abt themselves again...which in this case is that electric violinist...cant believe my mum threw away my live concert dvd of them...i spent 20 canadian dollars on it..that was like cheap..but now i have to buy it for 40 plus singapore dollars...sianz...nvm...for yellowcard...anything...

and they're having a concert near where i used to study in CAnada...thats sad manz...i wish i could go for it...yellowcard rocks manz..in case u that is reading doesnt know..go check them out...

okay..i'll stop here for the time being...wasting too much time on blogging i guess...catch u guys around...

yellowcard