?Â¿? DaR3 To DrEaM Â¿?Â¿

Wednesday, February 14, 2007
2/14/2007 09:13:00 PM

hey everyone...its like about time that i blog again b4 i have a brain clot due to all the stuff in there not being able to come out...hahaz..and guess what...this date that i'm blogging,its Valentine's...maybe those lucky pple out there that actually take Valentine's as a sweet date with that someone may think i'm lonely or just feel self-pity inside myself on this day without a date...but guess what..u guys r wrong..i'm HAPPY that i'm still single..lolz=X

cos to me,if i am attached,on this day i'll be thinking whether that other half is actually the one for Valentine's or i rather date another girl out. while being attached aint so lovey dovey to me, in reality, at a "teen" age...i'm nineteen...its hard to figure and say what u really want in an opposite sex as a soul mate. and even if u r in one now and are deceiving urself that she/he may be the one for life..let me tell u..lets see what happens when u move down the life cycle and see whether ur thinking changes.

especially those in puberty age while hormones are still raging like crazy..i would say dun even try to define what u want in a soul mate then,cos i can tell u...even at my age or maybe even 5 yrs down the road, u might not be able to see a "settled" image of what u really want..it keeps changing..pple keep changing..and even if ur "image" of a soulmate doesnt change,the opposite party might..so why take the risk? when being Single is like a lot better than being entangled in a relationship with all the boundaries.

Relationships are the same as Work sometimes...u have them for more than half of ur life...why start early. the saying of Love being "Once a happiness...then a thousand times pain"..yeah its true...

okay what can be worse than not having a date on Valentine's?...being terribly sick..been like having a fever for the past few days..thought today i'll be alright,but woke up felt like vomiting...and whats worse than vomiting?...wanting to vomit,but cant...while not daring to try the "put a finger in my mouth" thingy...had food poisoning the past few days...the bed has been my partner for quite awhile...

was supposed to go out with my clique today for this pathetic "Single" celebration...but couldnt cos of "celebration" off having food poisoning...being "away from the world" for like three days..having to stay like a sick patient at home..means like the world taken away from me...even though had my mum most of the time...she cared alot...i love her..i wonder how my soulmate will impress me by being a better mum than her in future..seems quite impossible..

about singlehood...maybe its quite obvious that sometimes i do have crushes on some gals..but its a very "playboy" thingy...just liking and later show the liking quite obvious to the girl..then i back off..i'm not willing to commit,but somehow maybe giving them the wrong impression that i feel lonely..but actually truly i just love being single..not having to report to that someone everyday of my life..doing whatsoever i want to do each day...scheduling time and events without having to worry whether i'm being too busy for her...

this "self made-up" saying came across my mind like 30mins ago while bathing, dunno y either:

"Love is not a game..but if u wanna play it like a game...take it like a game."

okay...whatever..

and i cant believe how many feel so pathetic that they're single..its a great thing manz..being attached might feel like the only way to be single again is like go thru a very ugly scene of breaking up where urs or her heart or both get involved in the scenario. i rather keep my love shared without worrying about whether i'm giving too much attention to this particular girl or another girl during a period of time. and i can move on anytime i want.

maybe thats why i dun hav best friends either,maybe ever since pri sch..i knew the meaning of having to leave some place...like from Canada to Singapore..sch to sch...in army,training sch to training sch....i didnt bother having a best friend anymore..many close friends are what does it for me...dun hav to devote to any particular person..just like a relationship. i mean what u can do for one...u can do for many too...why just do it for one?

and my dream doesnt allow me to have to stick to one place forever,i'll move to wherever my dream takes me...and i want the option to be able to move rather than having to stay behind because of some sweetheart or darling. so i guess i'll be like my dad in a way...just move on and on...when time comes,the one will appear...get married,move along wherever with her...so its obviously not this age that i'm gonna get attached..its like she has to be able to have the freedom to say she's gonna leave with me...but not reluctantly,but because she has the same type of dreams.

okay..back to Valentine's...for all those lovey dovey couples out there...Happy Valentine's day...its coming to an end soon...anyways,its just a normal day...every date should be taken like a Valentine's date...take it seriously...Valentine's day is just a day to remind pple to remember to be sweet at least once a year to that special someone.

hope i feel better tml...dunno why i dunno what to write anymore..maybe the sickness has caught my brain...and thanks for reading u peeps...cos i think i'm getting more and more self-centered on what i have to say..without caring how u all feel abt it...i'll try harder the next time...=P pen off.

yellowcard