?Â¿? DaR3 To DrEaM Â¿?Â¿

Wednesday, July 11, 2007
7/11/2007 09:10:00 PM

hey guys. back for another entry. cant believe its been two mths that i've not touched this blog. but actually. I DUN CARE. when did i? until pple keep reminding me to update my blog. and for the sake of the few that actually read. i'm writing this. of course because i want to air my thoughts to the "world" too.

ya shuling. my bday has been over and i should blog abt it. but i dun really remember what really happened. maybe i should have blogged earlier. but i know there was quite a few cakes. a few meals. and generally, very little me being the star moments. but thats just how i like it to be. just a normal day that pple just greet u remembering ur bday and maybe a few presents. but more of a day i can just go out with them and have fun. forgetting its my bday. hehez...and it lasted quite a few days. three days in a row. cos i'm the type of person that doesnt have a definite group but circulate a few.

the biggest thing that has happened recently is making this girl that has liked for close to one and a half year now, get over me. i cant believe it has been so long. and almost a year since we broke. but i didnt really consider it a relationship. cos i wasnt really taking it seriously. cos i'm not the type for a relationship. never have been. and this was taken even more lightly. especially when i could never get over the one in Canada. so i couldnt move on to wholeheartedly liking someone else. i wonder how the one in Canada got over me that fast. but i wouldnt be surprise. she loved Cliff after all. the problem is Cliff. who will love or even like him for too long.

but back to the topic of this girl getting over me. i really wanna tell this girl if u r reading this, u were a very nice girl and i've always liked the way u treated me. there just wasnt love in it, so it didnt work out. and many other reasons. i just thank you for taking care of me the way u did for that period of time. i know i tried my best to do so to u too. but i couldnt bring myself to love u. i'm really sorry. we're just not meant to be.

but really if my future wife even treats me like u did, i would be the luckiest guy on earth cos i really never felt such love from a girl b4. thanks alot. but i'm sorry i had to be cruel and just ignore u and everything. its the only rightful thing to do as a guy to help u move on. and it hurt me to do so. i'm not the type of guy to do that, maybe thats why i took so long to do it. but it really hurt me alot to do that to u. i'm really sorry. heard u like another guy now, hope he treats u better and loves u as u should be loved.

thats all i have to say to u.

and the girls i've rejected recently, i'm very sorry too. maybe its me and my stupid standards of not being able to see the love surpassing the looks and demands of my human nature. but really, ur not christian either. makes it worse. but u gals will move on, its not so hard to get over me. a girl that was with me for six mths seriously could have gotten me over and continued with another guy in a mere few mths while one that loved me for a year can like someone else in a mere week, i dun see how u cant move on. u gals do it better than me =)

okay. enough about Girls. boring topic. yeah i know. i'm guy too. straight and girls r attractive, so it occurs to me to be girlcraze once in awhile too. but thats under control. cos i'm a partial MCP =P

went to korea last week. yeah. i know what u r gonna ask "how was it. fun? holidays ar?"...okay. no. it was not holidays. it was not for fun. but it was more than what u think it was. it was life changing experience.

imagine, okay if ur a christian and a serious one, u might understand. but imagine, 20,000 pple all around the world gathering in a stadium. having meetings and having activities. interaction. partying, sightseeing and gathering as one. ALL IN THE NAME OF GOD. one word to say. it was LIFE-CHANGING. one more word. INDESCRIBABLE. and one more. HEAVENLY. a phrase i mean. A TASTE OF HEAVEN.

all these pple for ur information are christians. not just christians. but christian youth leaders. coming together to worship. really it was amazing. i really dunno how to put down all these in words. i'm trying my best. cos i feel no matter how hard i try. its not a wordly thing to express. its just like i said INDESCRIBABLE. u had to be there. u just had to be. especially if u are hvaing great dreams in christianity.

got to know hong kees, taiwanese, brazilians, indians, nigerians, caucasians, mixed and almost everything u can think of. but not forgetting. the pple from the country that WOW-ed me the most. koreans!

korean girls r cute. really. maybe cos i rarely even see them other than in movies and drama series. it was a unique experience interacting with them. they r very sweet pple. but i would say maybe its just because they're christians or they work in the service industry. thats why they r so sweet. what amazed me was my lack of knowledge of how strong the christians in Korea are. they pray everywhere they go. worship really very enthusiastically and really, are very warm to other christians too. their hospitality was just heartwarming.

why i say its a taste of heaven? cos imagine everyday, waking up to know the whole day u are gonna look forward to worshipping God and just know more abt Him and prepare our hearts to serve Him in the future. imagine the whole day being all about that. and the pple u meet, all are christians. with smiles on their faces, purposes in their lives and very very nice pple, taking christianity very seriously. it was a great encouragement for a christian leader like myself to feel how HOT they are for God compared to me. when i already thought i'm quite HOT for God already. but seeing them HOTTER just inspired and moved me to tears. wanting to be just like them. the christian population in Korea is just so big, 12,000 of the 20,000 pple there were koreans. so it was swarming with Koreans everywhere.

check our my friendster. have a few photos taken with korean girls. soon to upload more.

it was LIFE-CHANGING due to the experience of knowing we're not in the Kingdom of Heaven serving Him ourselves. that everywhere out there. christians are fighting for God. whether its to share the love of God with others or to just stand up for Christ in their daily lives. made so many friends, its gonna always be an encouragement when i see them on MSN and reminding each other about how we should be for God.

made two korean girl-friends from the worship choir team. they are very lovely pple. i really love them alot. every night after the last worship, we would be like waiting for each other outside the stadium, and just hang out for awhile. the most saddening moment was the last night. we just hugged each other and really couldnt bear thinking that 7 days went by just like that. but i only knew them on the 4th or 5th day.

its hard making friends there. unless u got alot of fate to meet each other. u can just make this friend today. and the whole 6 other days, u dun see them anymore. but it was weird how we always saw each other. it was amazing. i switched my "Singapore" christian tshirt with their worship team tshirt. it was just amazing.

i dunno what to say. but i'll always remember what one of the speakers said to me "If you know Jesus, You will love Him. If u love Him, You will SErve Him. If you dont Serve Him, means u dun love him. but if you dont love him, its because you dont know Him".

truly, even as a christian, i would say none of us really know exactly what Jesus went through for all of us. we can see the scene of Him dying on the cross a hundred times but we cry only by what we imagine it to be. but just imagine, even if u died on that cross and had that death sentence b4. u wont imagine living a perfect life, coming down from all that royalty in heaven to die for others and the emotional and physical battle of it all. its not what we think.

but u wont believe it, because u only believe in what u see. but we're not asking u to believe it. we're asking u to have faith in Him. only then will u be able to see. Thru His eyes.

okay. i'll stop here. nothing more to say le. getting emotional. thinking of His death and also missing alot of them from the trip there. haiz. take care everyone. thanks for readin. =)

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